“But if we fail, we will sink into the abyss of a new dark age made more sinister by the lights of perverted science.”
Sir Winston Churchill, 18th June 1940
Wilkommen zu der Schloss Schlockhöfen… an eerie, isolated fortress, perched on a precipitous crag rising from the trackless Bavarian forest. The retreat and laboratory of the mysterious, reclusive Doktor Hieronymus Schlock, sometime scientific genius of the long fallen Reich…
That’s the setting for this B-movie musical schlock horrorfest – a hearty soup of pulp-horror goodness. A tongue-in-cheek melange of mad scientists, zombies, nymphomanic werewolves and gung-ho lost patrols. All spiced up with a risqué dash of sub-S&M gender-bending!
Barney Bridgework and Diane Dentine of CDBDBN Broadcast News are filming an investigation into mysterious disappearances around Schlockhöfen. But having lost the keys to their jeep, they are forced to knock at the castle door…
Can they survive the night within its forbidding walls with only Herr Doktor and his weird household for company? The denizens of Der Schloss include Beauty, a handmade nymphomaniac S&M junkie; Beast, who makes Frankenstein’s Monster look a complete pussy; Otto Plügbutt, Herr Doktor’s devoted batman, and his terrifying yet drop-dead gorgeous She-Wolves – an all singing, all dancing troupe of PVC-clad lycanthropes – the ultimate security detail to die for…
And dropping (quite literally) into this freakshow, a gung-ho squad of U.S. Airborne rangers, attempting to snatch Herr Doktor for a top-secret CIA programme…
The scene is set for a rip-roaring, rock n’ rolling evening of gothic devilment and pure pulp horror wickedness. So sit back, relax, and place yourselves in the horribly capable hands of Herr Doktor and his lethal, latex-clad lady friends…
Parts: 10M 8F, plus two choruses of at least 3 M or F
14 original musical numbers, full score and CD recording available.
Herr Doktor Hieronymus Schlock
Frau Schweingestänk, his housekeeper and alter-ego (Herr Doktor in drag)
Greta Schlock, his daughter. Bespectacled and pigtailed – but a goer underneath the plain wrapping
Beauty, his favourite monster. Dedicated to pleasure and pain – giving and receiving. Infatuated with Herr Doktor.
Beast – a failed konstrukt or experiment. Monstrous looking but docile.
Otto Plugbutt, Herr Doktor’s manservant. Besotted by Frau Schweingestänk.
Barney Bridgework and…
– U.S. TV reporters from CDBDBN. Beautiful faces, ugly personalities, end up zombified. Essentially, Fred and Daphne from Scooby-Doo – but with bad attitude.
Mitchell Maven, TV cameraman and grade-A geek.
Katja Kok, kommandant of the She-Wolves – a pack of lycanthrope nymphomaniacs:
Red O’Rourke, All-American hero, 92nd Airborne, and his lost patrol of G.I.’s: a bunch of All-American misfits:
Sergeant Kozlowski (Polish extraction – tough nut)
Stromboli (New York Italian – crooked)
Kenally (New York Irish – thick)
Hooper (Texan – thick and trigger-happy)
Two groups of backing singers:
The Body Shop, fledgling konstrukts / neophyte she-wolves.
The Parts Department, botched experiments awaiting recycling.